Since late last August,  I’ve eaten as gluten-free as I can. At two months, it had made a massive difference in the way I feel, the way I think, the way I live. Around six months, I was feeling amazing and stayed that way until about six weeks ago.

Now, at nearly a year…I feel like I’m falling apart again.

Somewhere in the past few months, I convinced myself I could handle a little bit of gluten once in a while…which turned into a little bit of gluten just about every day as we moved into the parsonage and I’ve struggled to find a new rhythm in a new place. I’m still not eating regular bread or pasta, but taking a bite or two of donut…battered fish…eating chow mein at my favorite Chinese restaurants…letting my guard down and paying the price. Sugar followed, as it usually does, and meat started making its way back into my regular diet.

My body is definitely paying the price, and it’s a high one.

My energy levels have fallen drastically. I’ve got aches and pains and my brain just isn’t working the way it should. Random swelling, a pain in my left arm and wrist that just won’t quit. My stomach spends most of the day and night telling me I’m an idiot.

What the heck is wrong with me?

Seriously.

And why do I feel the need to throw this out into the universe via blogging?

Because it needs to stop.

I need to stop.

I know what I need to be eating. I know that my body can’t handle gluten without swelling and pain and all sorts of other issues. I know that meat makes me feel icky. I know that refined sugar gives me headaches.

For some reason, I’m ignoring everything my body is telling me I need for what my brain is telling me I want - rebelling and chafing against the discipline I’ve worked so hard to develop.

Ultimately, it is far more of a discipline issue than it is a food issue.

I’m done.

• No more gluten.
• No more meat, just fish once in a while.
• Cutting way, way back on the sugar.
• Getting back to predominantly cultured dairy products.
• Back on the veggie train.
• Welcoming back green smoothies on a daily basis.

I’m not looking forward to the detox. I am looking forward to feeling better, though, and being able to live life more fully again at the end of it and that’s going to go a long way in sustaining me through the hard parts.

How is your diet looking? Are there any changes you need to make, big or small? What steps are you taking this week towards optimal health and wellness?