Tag Archives: fibromyalgia

eats.

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It’s been nearly two years since I cut gluten out of my diet as an experiment, hoping it would alleviate some of my fibromyalgia symptoms.

The result? After just a few days of my gluten-free diet, I was convinced I was never actually suffering from fibromyalgia – just a severe gluten intolerance.

Two years later, I still am.

Ten months ago, I went paleo after six months of vegeterianism/veganism and the results have been even better than I’d hoped. My energy levels – always iffy at best – are constant and high, my emotions are under control for the first time in my life, I’m actually present in my own life and I haven’t had anything resembling a fibromyalgia symptom in a really, really long time. I’m working out harder now than I ever have before and I’m seeing results.

But I’m not sure what to call my diet anymore.

I’m not strictly paleo or primal. With these harder workouts, I’ve felt the need for more protein – but just can’t stand to eat more meat. I’ve been adding in small amounts of cultured dairy, and my body is responding just fine to it. That puts me in the primal camp, but I’ve also been playing around a bit with occasional white rice and as a once in a long while food, it’s been okay and adds a bit of variety.

I am constantly tinkering and experimenting, trying to find where I feel my absolute best, and I think that’s been the biggest benefit of this past year. In a sense, I’ve reset my body – I’ve learned what foods I do well with and which ones I don’t, and I’ve learned to recognize them pretty quickly.

I still don’t know what to call it.

I’ve begun telling people I follow an anti-inflammatory, nutrient dense diet. It’s not about eating just what hunter-gatherer’s ate and it’s not dogmatic – for me it’s really been about eliminating inflammatory foods, focusing on good fats and properly raised produce and meats as our budget an afford them…but ultimately, it’s about discovering how foods affect me personally.

I agree with Dallas and Melissa Hartwig of whole9life.com (please, please, please read their new book, It Starts with Food) – all food has either a positive or negative effect on our bodies…and there’s really no in-between. We’re either helping or hurting with every bite we take. Rather than taking part in the science experiment that is the standard American diet full of foods that are created to sit on wharehouse shelves and not to nourish our bodies, I’m experimenting on myself with real food.

It’s working.

Most days, I eat eggs for breakfast, along with a little fruit and sometimes a little meat. Lunch lately has been a sandwich wrap with good quality lunch meat, avocado, and tomatoes with some string cheese or a salad topped with the dinner before’s meat and a little olive oil and balsamic. I’ve been having a mid-afternoon snack if I’m hungry – usually cottage cheese or greek yogurt with a small serving of fruit. Dinner is protein and vegetables.

For the past month, I’ve been logging my meals in at My Fitness Pal under the username skwidlund, and my food diary is open for public view if you’re interested in what that looks like day after day. My whole purpose in logging was to keep an eye on exactly how much protein I was getting a day, but it’s turned into a great tool to keep me accountable and has jump-started my weightloss again. If you’re a member, I’d love for you to send me a friend request.

This is what’s working for me. I do think it’s important to remember that  while our bodies may have many similarities, when it comes to food we are all individuals. A whole grain, low fat diet makes me physically ill. Processed foods make me bloat and dull my senses. The vegan diet that friends thrive on left me in pain, unable to think clearly and barely able to get through the day. A super strict paleo diet is something I can thrive on, but I do just as well with a few additions. It’s taken work to get here, but I think I’ve finally found where I need to be in order to be optimally healthy physically and emotionally.

It’s a good place to be, and a great place to continue moving forward from as life is going to start getting crazier next month.

Where are you on your journey to health and wellness? Have you tried eliminating any foods that have helped or hurt you? Are you just starting our or are you an old pro?

Whole30, Day 1: take….

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ummm…

well….

today is the 12th?

Let’s make that take 12.

I wish I were joking.

I’m pretty sure the beginning of January was even more diet-bomb ridden than December – two birthdays (celebrated over 3 days), a New Year’s day gathering, eating out lots, an ear infection for me, a day trip to Monterey and another to Sonora, and the kids don’t go back to school until next Tuesday.

It was ridiculous.

And while I didn’t really do *that* bad (we won’t talk about that donut I ate yesterday)…and I could probably make the case that I didn’t stray *too far* from paleo (again, pay no attention to that donut I ate yesterday)…it wasn’t Whole30.

And my goal for this Whole30 – from the start – has been perfection.

Today, we’re finally through the birthdays…we’re through the having to eat out and the fun stuff…we’re finally through the holiday hustle and bustle and can find our way back to our everyday normals.

Today is Day 1.

I have a couple of specific goals for this Whole30:

  • 30 days of perfection
  • at least 20 days in the gym (the last one, I didn’t work out at all – in fact, I haven’t worked out since the beginning of October. this morning at the gym? painful.)
  • evening walks 2 or 3 times a week (looking toward a 5k goal in the fall

My measurements are done, I weighed and I’m putting the scale away until at least February 12th.

ready. set. go.

paleo and me

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I’ve had a great big bump in blog views lately thanks to my review of Make It Paleo and the amazing authors sharing it on Facebook, and it’s really made me want to share more of my story…and a few photos.

Deep breath…here goes…

I’ve struggled with my weight and my relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I’ve battled between binge eating and obsessive dieting, sometimes falling into unhealthy workout and harmful purging habits. In high school, I discovered fat-free and Snackwell’s and ate pasta every day. In college and my early years as a wife and mother, I gained and lost the same 40 or 50 pounds on a fairly regular basis.

I thought I had finally found a place of health a few years ago after losing 70 pounds on Weight Watchers, but even that was a struggle. I constantly fought cravings and it was nearly impossible for me to maintain my weightloss.

Seven months after I stopped Weight Watchers, I came home from a women’s retreat and became ill. What started as a low fever and body aches quickly developed into frozen and swollen joints, and complete mental fuzziness and confusion within a week. By the end of that month, I had more or less every symptom you could list for fibromyalgia…even though my doctor continued to be certain that it was all in my head. I gained 40 pounds in less than 2 months, with another 30 piling on within the next three.

What followed was 18 months of confusion. I didn’t really respond to fibromyalgia medications and was having horrible side effects to the anti-depressants my doctor was convinced I needed…probably because I didn’t. I’ve lived with depression on an off since middle school – this wasn’t it. My gynecologist thought I had classic symptoms of insulin resistance, tested me for it, and told me to pull all refined flour and sugar from my diet. I ate very little flour and almost no sugar for a month, lost 10 pounds, felt a little better, and then went back to my normal diet when the blood tests said insulin resistance wasn’t my problem.

This went on and on until August 2010. Pain, confusion, stress, anxiety, more pain, more stress, and so much frustration because I felt like my body was betraying me. My normal diet has always been fairly clean, full of lots of fruits and vegetables and lean meats. With the added stress of a new school year and one child having a particularly difficult time adapting, I found myself moving far away from that normal diet to lots of fast food and junk food and feeling worse than ever before.

I noticed, though, for the first time how truly horrible I felt after each meal – especially when they were wheat heavy, like a dinner at Bucca di Beppo that left me feeling like I was in a coma…underwater…and incapable of putting together a coherent sentence - and started to wonder…

maybe gluten was the problem.

I’d felt so much better that month I stayed away from refined sugar and flour. I did a few internet searches and decided to go for it.  Within a few days, the mental fog started to clear. Before the first month ended, the joint pain was gone. At two months, it was beyond obvious that gluten had been my problem all along. Now that I’m over a year gluten-free, I have no fibromyalgia symptoms at all. I lost about 25 of those pesky pounds I gained in the first year, and another 25 over the last eight months. The mild depression that I’ve battled since middle school went away.

I started studying paleo three or four months ago, after a failed attempt at vegetarianism. I’d noticed during that time that I was relying more and more on grains and legumes, and some stomach issues I hadn’t dealt with for a while flared back up. I was fighting for energy levels – even while making certain to get lots of animal free protein. And I just didn’t feel good.

I’ve been reading about nutrition for quite a few years now – spending a little time dabbling in Weston Price stuff, learning about things like micronutrients – and knew that what my body wanted was a whole foods based diet that was also non-imflammatory. The more I studied, the more I became convinced that paleo was something I needed to commit to.

It didn’t take long to figure out that paleo was the answer I’ve been looking for all along. My weight, which had plateaued for the last six months regardless of what I ate or how much I exercised, started dropping again. The stomach issues are a thing of the past. Sugar cravings are gone.

Food is simply that – food. Fuel for my body. It’s not something I obsess about, it’s not something I feel guilt or anxiety over. It’s just food.

Even more than that, I feel good. When I look at that picture from December two years ago, all I can see is how unhealthy I was. Not just over-weight, but chronically ill. My skin looks gray, my face swollen, even my posture is bad.

Now, I feel amazing – I have energy to run through my day, I sleep like a rock for 8 hours straight, my skin glows. I’m finally enjoying the health and wellness I lost and have fought so hard to get back. I can be active with my kids and keep up with my two-year old nephew every day.

I still have further to go. I’d like to lose some more weight, but as Stacy shared last week on Paleo Parents my goal has evolved. I want to be at a comfortable weight – something I don’t have to fight day in and out to maintain. I’d like to go down about one or two more pant sizes, but realize that I have good German birthing hips and I’ll never be a size 7. With cooler weather and shorter days, I’m struggling to get exercise in regularly and I know that will help me firm up even further.

I’m worth it. I’m worth taking a few extra minutes to plan meals…to cook extra chicken for lunch the next day…to order crazy requests at restaurants…to reprioritize my budget when needed to feed my family food that nourishes them in the best possible ways.

Are you?

More of my paleo posts.

Gluten-free – 2 months in

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I hit my two month gluten-free anniversary sometime a little over a week ago, and I thought it would be a good time to reflect on what exactly this change has meant for me.

I am completely off the fibromyalgia medication, after a very deliberate weaning period.  I do have a bit of very minor muscle pain, but nothing like I was previously experiencing.  I've had a bit of mental fogginess, but again – not even in the same universe as what I was living with 10 weeks ago.  I've had a bit of occasional swelling in my feet, but it's been minimal.  My energy levels have been great and I've had no return of numbness or tingling. 

All in all, I'm not willing to say I'm cured, but I am willing to say that I am able to live life again without any restrictions…other than the gluten.   And I'm finding that the longer I stay away from gluten, the continuously better I feel.   It's an amazing thing to not crave bread and other baked treats, or to have that hangover feeling I've always associated with most grain based foods.

I will admit, quite readily, that eating gluten-free isn't always easy.  There are days it would just be soooo much easier to throw together a sandwich.  Fast food is really difficult (though not something I do often anyway) and so is eating at restaurants.  Once in a while, I have a bit of a pity party that I can't just grab a cinnamon graham cracker for a snack or catch myself unconsciouly putting a pretzel in my mouth as I pack the kid's lunches.  

It's a learning curve and it's work, but it's worth it.

In fact, my biggest concern has been that as I'm learning to bake and replace favorite foods with gluten-free versions…I'm struggling to stay on a diet that leads to weight loss.   But I am learning to create meals and baked goods that are gluten-free, and I'm generally pretty happy with the results. 

And just as I believe the healthiest diet is the one that is least processed and eaten in the state closest to it's natural state, I'm finding the best tasting (and cheapest) gluten-free diet is the same way.  I've used a few gluten-free baking mixes but haven't always been terribly impressed with the final result, especially after factoring in the price.  Naturally gluten-free – basic, simple, whole foods – are best for my body and my wallet.

My next big challenge – taking the refined sugar back out of my diet.  Somehow, as I've learned to embrace gluten-free baking, the white stuff has crept back into my diet.  When I eat sugar, I can feel it surging through my body and I can feel the crash that follows.  It's not pleasant.  And while sugar has slipped back in, my exercise program has bit the dust.  There's always something to tweak and continue working on.

I'm also working hard to put too many expecatations on myself.  We've got three rounds of guests coming between Thanksgiving and the new year – it's going to be crazy.  We are also facing some big changes and decisions over the next few months financially as Tom goes from full time ministry to part time with a massive cut in pay and no more benefits.  Balance is going to be more difficult than ever to find and stress to manage, but  I know that the dietary changes I've already made over the past two months are actually going to help with all of that.

 

Jumping in…

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I came home from Whole Foods this morning with 10 different kinds of flour, tapioca starch and what I've read is actually the dried powder of a slimy bacteria called xanthan gum…none of them containing wheat. 

After 25 days of living gluten-free, I guess you could say I'm jumping all the way in.   I continue to be overwhelmed by the health differences I've felt in less than a month of eating gluten-free, even through some long, tiring days planning and putting on a wedding (while watching my 20 month old nephew), cross country travel and some extreme stress since I've been home.  I'm exhausted, I'm still a little jet-lagged and I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, but I've had no pain, no fogginess or any of the other symptoms that I'd been told were part of fibromyalgia.

All of those bags up there?  They're a promise and a commitment to myself to choose to continue to heal and to be able to continue to fully live each moment.

And yes, I am aware there are many gluten-free mixes out there that could take the place of my alternative flour-collection.  But here's the thing…I didn't eat processed, pre-packaged foods before I made the decision to cut gluten out of my diet.  Why should I start now?  I've always been a from-scratch-whole-foods cook and I don't intend to change that just because I've taken gluten out of my diet.

In addition to the blogs I've been reading for the past few months, I ordered some cookbooks this week and have been putting sticky notes on every recipe that strikes my fancy.  Tonight, we're trying pancakes from Artisinal Gluten-Free Cooking and tomorrow, it will be bread (bread!) and potato leek soup from Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef (with pizza crust and peanut butter brownies high on my to-try as soon as possible list).   I've always found cookbooks to be rather good reading, but these two are inspiring me to say yes to so many new foods and options. 

In particular, I'm loving this quote from Artisinal Gluten-Free Cooking by Kelli and Peter Bronski:

Within two weeks of going gluten-free, I felt healthier than I had in literally ten years.  I hadn't even realized that I had recalibrated what "normal" meant…I was so absent of symptoms that it was conspicuous and noticeable.  And wonderful.

The absence of symptoms I am feeling can only be described as conspicuous.  I find that I'm testing and questioning myself – when was the last time my right calf hurt?  How long has it been since I noticed that spot below my elbow?  Do my feet still feel like I'm walking on pins and needles when I wake up?  Can I get through the produce section of Whole Foods without pain due to the temperature changes?  Can I still put together a coherent thought at midnight?

I can't remember the last time my calf or elbow hurt. 

My feet feel fine when I wake up…and all day long.

Those temperature changes in Whole Foods – which previously left me limping and barely able to walk  – I didn't even notice them this morning.

I can put together a coherent thought at midnight (or any other time of the day)…although not after spending all day prepping for a wedding, dancing for two hours and drinking a few glasses of wine. 

I'm okay with that.  A month ago, any one of the wedding prep, dancing or wine would have had me in pain for a few days.   And I have a feeling those few glasses of wine probably had more to do with that particular bit of fuzzy thinking.

Change isn't easy.  I have to think a lot harder and ask more questions if I'm going to eat out.  It's definitely cheaper to buy Gold Medal flour, or even the unbleached King Arthur's flour I used to prefer.  It's far easier to order a pizza than figure out dinner after a long week. 

I'm finding myself thankful over and over again that I've always been a planner, a reader,  and someone who enjoys the kitchen and gets excited about nutrition - I can see now where so many of the passions God has given me over the past few years are coming together in ways I'd never expected.    There is a learning curve to living gluten-free, but I'm finding the results outweigh the changes so vastly that there is absolutely no other choice.

It is worth it.  I will experiment with my table full of flours and get over the fact that xanthan gum is powdered bacterial slime, and I will embrace an even fuller life because of it.

This I Know: Fibromyalgia

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I've been working on this post for a while in my head…every morning when I walk, when I'm waiting to fall asleep each night, during bits and pieces of the day.

I got sick a little over a year ago.  What I originally thought was the flu hung around, made my hands and feet begin to tingle, caused my joints to freeze and turned my life completely upside-down and inside-out in less than two weeks.   I spent weeks nearly immobilized and continue to deal with some sort of symptoms on a daily basis.

There's a lot of information about fibromyalgia out there, lots of it conflicting.  I want to share what fibromyalgia means to me:

  • There are days that I feel as if every inch of my skin is bruised.  The slightest touch causes pain.  Even something as simple as snuggling my kids can leave me feeling extra tender.
  • There are days that my leves of exhaustion are nearly intolerable. 
  • I have trouble finding words when I'm speaking and writing…which is incredibly frustrating for someone who truly loves words.  It bothers me to have to be corrected or told that what I'm saying may not make sense.  My brain just feels fuzzy sometimes.
  • I can feel isolated.  I don't look sick (although I do sometimes look a little extra tired), but I've come to know that I have certain limits that can hold me back a bit.  Fibromyalgia is a vague diagnosis that essentially means we can't find anything else wrong with you but you have these symptoms.  It's hard to explain that sometimes.
  • My feet cramp easily. 
  • My sleep cycles are a mess.  I've come to take falling to sleep very seriously. 
  • If you were touch a few certain trigger points (particularly on my back), you could bring me to my knees in pain without much effort. 
  • Hot and cold affect me differently.  I've learned to be very careful where the air conditioner vent in the car points – it can't hit me directly or it can be excruciating.   And from last Spring until just recently, I didn't sweat when hot – just kept getting hotter and hotter.  I will say I've turned into quite the champion sweat-er at the gym now.

Thankfully, I don't live with all of these on a daily basis.  It's a bit of a fibromyalgia roulette – I'm never sure what's going to hurt or how I feel each morning when I wake up, and I never know exactly what the day will bring.  If I could describe fibromyalgia in just one word, it would be frustrating.

Here's what is working for me right now:

  • Savella - after a very bad reaction to Cymbalta (massive hair loss, hand tremors and stuttering), I was very hesitant to try another prescription but I'm so glad I did.  Within 4 days of starting Savella, I was able to get out and walk for exercise…for the first time in nearly a year.   It's made it possible for me to to exercise 5 to 6 times a week and begin a rather grueling workout schedule at the gym.  It's pulled away a few layers of the fuzziness.  
  • Exercise has become an absolute must for me.  Whether it's a half hour of walking in our neighborhood or an hour at the gym…the more I can move my aching muscles, the better I feel.  The stronger I get, the better I feel.  The longer I work out, the better I feel.  It is a fight every single morning to get out of bed (often with frozen joints), put on my workout clothes and cross trainers and head out that door, but it is a victory that is worth the effort.   There can be a very thin line between just enough and too much, though.
  • Clean, healthy eating and nutrition has been a passion of mine for many years, but never has it been more important to me.   I've removed most of the wheat from my diet as well as refined sugar, and that has helped how I feel significantly.  I eat red meat rarely, stay away from soy products that haven't been traditionally fermented and avoid MSG at all costs, a few more personal pain triggers I've discovered.   Lots of produce (and lots of raw produce in particular) is good.  Nuts are good.   Beans are good.  Healthy fats -olive oil, avocado, butter, coconut oil- are good.  
    Side note: I'm still planning to share a bit more about the specific reasons for some of the things I do and don't eat like coconut oil and soy in the near future…just trying to find the time.
  • I've learned to follow my body's cues.  If I'm tired, I rest.  If I need to lay down, I do…but not for too long.  When I'm ready for bed, I go.  When I wake up, I get up and get going. 
  • I've lost nearly half the weight fibromyalgia caused me to gain.  Within the first two months of not feeling well, I gained nearly 40 pounds.  I gained nearly another 30 in the four months following for a total of almost 70 pounds in about six months.  It didn't matter what I ate or what I did.  Cutting out the refined sugar and flour was the first step and helped me take about 15 off.  Since starting the Savella, I've lost another 16.  The more weight I take off, the better I feel.
  • I am learning to deal with stress.  We've made some big decisions as a family that are certainly helping with that, but I am trying to process, pray and let go.

I have faith that the life God wants for me isn't one ruled by pain.  I read and learn about fibromyalgia, but not too much.  This syndrome isn't going to get the best of me.  I will live with it, but I will not suffer from it and I certainly will not allow it to become the master of my life.  

WebMD has some great, basic resources if you're dealing with or think you might have fibromyalgia, as does the National Fibromyalgia Association.  Oneof the most frustrating things about fibromyalgia, though, is that there is no one-size-fits-all protocol that works for everyone and there are still many doctors (my previous one included) who believe it's all in my head. 

Seek, search, pray, try…that is what I know and that is what I will do.

Weight Loss: Randoms

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I'm at 29 pounds lost since Thanksgiving and it's been a few weeks since I've shared about this specifically, so I thought I'd share a few thoughts…

Lunch

  • That photo up there?  That's been lunch for the last few weeks.  2 whole grain Wasa crackers, 2 Laughing Cow cheese wedges, chopped up bell pepper and carrot sticks.  Before that, it was a spring mix salad with leftover protein from the night before, tomatoes, bell pepper, a few tablespoons of beans (usually black), olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Before that, it was corn tortilla quesadillas with beans and a little hot sauce, and some sort of vegetables.
    My point?
    I tend to get a little obsessed about breakfast and lunch, and eat the same thing for weeks on end until I get sick of it.  I can't decide if this is bad or good – on the one hand, I know it's okay for me to eat and it takes less thought.  On the other hand…variety is a good thing.  Maybe I should try rotating a few of these.
  • I took a look at my calorie tracking the other day and realized that I'm very rarely eating anywhere near all that Livestrong gives me…probably because I set my goals up wrong and have had up to 2000 calories a day to eat.  That's the average recommended diet for maintaining weight and might have something to do with the fact that my weight loss has been so inconsistent. 
    I reset it earlier this week – 1585 calories a day. 
    That makes a little more sense for someone wanting to lose weight.  In all honesty, I use the tracking more as a guide and for accountability…but I do tend to look to it when I want dessert or know we're going to be eating out.
  • I started using the elliptical at the gym.  It still scares the heck out of me, but I did it. 
    And I didn't die or fall off.  
    I'd call that a win.
    I've been having some minor issues with knee pain, and the doctor recommended the elliptical along with starting to work the muscles around my knees more specifically.  The first time I did it, I lasted all of 2 minutes (and that's with normally doing 30 minutes plus of walking in the neighborhood or on the treadmill 5 to 6 days a week).  Good grief!  I added another 2 minutes after my treadmill time and am hoping to add another 30 seconds or so each time I use it, until my elliptical time replaces my treadmill time.  I think I'd definitely like to have one of these at home. 
  • I'm also thinking that my birthday gift this year will be some sessions with a trainer…but not until we get back from California.  The doctor mentioned at my check up that regular exercise is the most crucial component of my fibromyalgia treatment now that I've found the right medication.  I agree with him wholeheartedly. 
  • Speaking of the doctor, I mentioned the symptoms I've been having when I eat wheat (particularly refined white).  He asked quite a few questions and we discussed it a bit.  The final analysis?  I can get tested, but I'm not having severe enough symptoms to really warrant it.  He made a note to revisit it at my next check up, but for the most part I'm just trying to avoid it. 
    His advice: If you know it makes you feel bad, don't eat it.  And congrats for being that in touch with your food and your body.
    I know it causes me a bit of a headache, can flare my fibromyalgia if I eat too much of it and it's almost impossible for me to lose weight when it's a regular part of my diet.   Id' say that definitely makes me feel bad.  From a strictly common sense standpoint, I just don't feel the need to eat it…unless perhaps there's a small piece of cake involved.   Side note: I do seem to be able to eat very small amounts if it's mixed with something else (like the Wasa crackers) or it's been fermented (like sourdough). 
  • I've noted this before, but the more I eat better, the more I exercise, the better I feel…the worse I feel when I eat poorly or don't exercise. 
    And the better I eat, the more I exercise, the better I feel…the more I want to eat even better and exercise even more.
    It's a nice feeling.  I don't really have any set goals – there isn't a goal weight I'm wanting to hit or a specific size I'm aiming for – I just want to be healthy and feel good again.